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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24815875">You Test My Nerves (it makes me stronger)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/patentpending/pseuds/patentpending'>patentpending</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>So Long 'Verse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Former Dark Side Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, M/M, Mutual Pining, Parental Anxceit, Paternal Anxceit, Pining, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:34:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,360</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24815875</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/patentpending/pseuds/patentpending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The facts followed: Virgil was unhappy around Janus.  Virgil was happy around Roman.  Janus liked Virgil being happy.  Therefore, Janus needed to help Virgil be around Roman.</p><p>And, if Virgil was so eternally grateful for Janus helping him get his crush that he hugged Janus tight and called him dad again, well.  That was simply a fortunate side effect.</p><p> </p><p>(Can be read as a stand-alone!)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>So Long 'Verse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1794970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>597</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Test My Nerves (it makes me stronger)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfaWrit10/gifts">InfaWrit10</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Set in the same universe as Bother Me a Little Bit Longer, but you don't have to have read that one!  Just know Janus and Patton are married and very much in love, but divorce and re-marry so often that it's a running joke.</p><p>tws: mild angst, swearing, and innuendo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So,” Janus purred, lounging in the doorway, blocking Virgil’s exit.  “Roman, hm?”</p><p>Virgil flushed hot – from anger or embarrassment Janus couldn’t tell.  “I don’t see how that’s any of your business, Janus.”</p><p>Janus clucked his tongue, shaking his head.  “Such little respect for your poor, dear father.”</p><p>Virgil grit his teeth.  “You’re not my father.”</p><p>Janus made a show of tugging off his glove and inspecting his golden wedding ring.  “Oh, you’re right.  Clearly this is a fake and mine and Patton’s marriage certificate a clever forgery.”</p><p>“Shut it.”  Virgil shouldered past him, stomping off down the hallway.  “Just leave me alone!”  He called over his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“Virgil again?”  Patton asked with a sympathetic smile, later, when they were curled up on the loveseat in their room.</p><p>Janus huffed something that could’ve passed for a laugh.  “Am I that obvious?”</p><p>“You’ve been making a face all afternoon.”  Patton sighed, resting his head on the curve of his husband’s shoulder.  “He’ll come around.  He just needs time.”</p><p>“Right.”  A sour, bitter taste grew in the back of Janus’ throat.  “I’m sure you’re right.”</p><p> </p><p>It was almost sickeningly adorable, how Virgil looked at Roman.</p><p>He didn’t even seem aware he was doing it, glances darted at the other side turning into sustained gazing, a small smile curling his lips, only to transform into a scowl whenever the other side caught him looking.</p><p>“Enjoying the view, Chris What-a-Pratt?”  Roman ran a hand through his hair, winking.</p><p>“Just trying to figure you out, Princey,” Virgil deadpanned, coughing into his sleeve to hide the red creeping up his neck.  “I’m shocked you don’t topple over with a head that big.”</p><p>Cue Roman sputtering indignantly, flouncing across the room to sit next to Virgil, knees brushing, and going off on a tangent, lauding his superior features and <em> perfect proportions, thank you, Mr. Drab-cy. </em>  Cue Virgil snorting with laughter, doling out insults no one who could see the adoration in his eyes would ever believe held an ounce of venom.</p><p>Janus did his best to make himself scarce whenever Virgil and Roman started in on their odd half-courtship.  He, with his multiple divorces and marriages with Patton, wasn’t one to judge how others flirted.  Besides, seeing Virgil so light, so happy… it was just <em> good. </em>  It felt right in a way he hadn’t experienced since the last family breakfast he had with Virgil and Remus, so long ago.</p><p>He didn’t like the way Virgil’s smile would melt away as soon as he spotted Janus.</p><p>He just needed time, according to Patton.  He’d come around, according to Patton.  It would be fine, according to Patton.</p><p>Well, as much as he loved his on-again, off-again husband, he was the first to agree that Patton wasn’t always right.  </p><p>The facts followed: Virgil was unhappy around Janus.  Virgil was happy around Roman.  Janus liked Virgil being happy.  Therefore, Janus needed to help Virgil be around Roman.</p><p>And, if Virgil was so eternally grateful for Janus helping him get his crush that he hugged Janus tight and called him dad again, well.  That was simply a fortunate side effect.</p><p>“Ah, I fear our dearest Thomas calls, my dear scare-amour.”  Roman brushed himself off, rising to his feet, before shooting a wink at the other side.  “We’ll be continuing this later.”</p><p>For a moment, Virgil’s face was lit with a glowing smile, but he pushed it away, swallowing and burrowing back into his hoodie.  “Yeah.  Sure, that sounds… goo- whatever.”</p><p>“Oh.”  Roman blinked as he sunk out.  “Glad to hear I’m whatever.”</p><p>“Wait, no!”  Virgil blurted.  “I just meant–”</p><p>But Roman was already gone.</p><p>Virgil groaned, flopping back on the couch, pulling a pillow over his face, and producing a very muffled ‘fuck’.</p><p>“A wonderful showing,” Janus purred, slinking out of the shadows.  “When should I expect the wedding invitations to be sent out?”</p><p>Virgil shot up, scowling at the other side as he coiled up on the couch beside him.  “Janus.”</p><p>“Virgil,” Janus shot back.  “Dear, I thought I raised you better than <em> that.” </em></p><p>“Sorry,” Virgil said dryly, “I think I missed the day you took me and Remus out for a wonderful picnic in the sunshine and laid out exactly what to do when a prince winks at you.”  He rolled his eyes, curling up against the couch arm, hugging a pillow to his chest.  “I know I’m a disaster.  Could you skip the villainous monologue and leave me to my suffering?”</p><p>“So dramatic,” Janus sighed.  “As the side most qualified, I merely wanted to help you out with your… <em> royal </em> issue, but if my generosity is to be so refuted…” </p><p>He stood, and there was a terrifying moment of silence where he thought Virgil was going to let him go, but a scoff came from behind him.</p><p>“What makes you think <em> you </em> are qualified to help me out here?”</p><p>“I'm a professional simp, and I’ve convinced Patton to marry me over thirty times.”  Janus examined his gloves, casually turning, biting down his smile.  “But by all means, continue to pine for the rest of your miserable life, I’m sure that’ll get you <em> just </em> what you want.”</p><p>Virgil slowly uncurled himself, eyeing the other side warily.  “And what do <em> you </em> want?  Going to steal our firstborn?”</p><p>“Do we need to send you to Logan for a refresher on biology?”  Janus asked, dryly.  “There’s this thing called ‘the goodness of my heart’ I’ve been meaning to try out.”</p><p>Virgil scoffed, making to stand up, and Janus cleared his throat, tacking on a: “Besides, Patton’s been badgering me to ‘make an effort’ with the three of you, or whatever, so…”  He shrugged.  “Ending the disgusting pining in here certainly beats sleeping on the couch for a week.”</p><p>Virgil stared at him for a long moment, jaw working, and Janus held himself very, very still.</p><p>“Fine.”  Virgil sighed, worrying his sleeves between his fingers.  “What do I need to do?”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Virgil huffed, arranging the bouquet in his hands for perhaps the millionth time.  “Okay.”</p><p>“Say it a few more times, maybe it’ll be true,” Janus said, dryly.</p><p>Virgil shot him a disgruntled glare, and Janus sighed, plucking off the note on the bouquet.</p><p>“‘Roman’,” he read, “‘you’re alright’.  Wow, I’m sure he’s going to leap straight into your arms.”</p><p>“Give me that!’  Virgil snatched it back, scowling.  “Look, you gave me one good idea, or whatever.  Can you just go?”</p><p>“And leave my son to suffer?  What type of guardian would I be?” Janus fanned a hand over his chest, pushing down a pang at Virgil’s mutter of ‘not your son’.</p><p>“Here.”  Janus summoned pen and paper and pushed them into Virgil’s hands, pacing back and forth.  “Something to this effect: Dearest, Roman – don’t forget the comma – I thought you deserved something just as special as you.  Yours, emo nightmare.”</p><p>Virgil copied his words down, face flaming.  “It isn’t too… desperate?  I don’t want him thinking I’m some…”  He trailed off, embarrassment clogging his throat.</p><p>“Virgil.”  Janus stopped, gently taking his chin in a gloved hand and raising it.  “Roman isn’t going to think anything like that.  You’re <em> perfect, </em> Virgil.”</p><p>He smirked.  “Now go leave those flowers in front of his door and run like the coward you are.”</p><p>Virgil blinked, shaking his head as if to knock his thoughts into order.  “Right, um.”  He teetered in the doorway, fiddling with the bouquet.  “Thanks, I guess.”</p><p>Janus rolled his eyes and turned away to hide his smile.  “Don’t mention it.”</p><p> </p><p>“He liked them!”  Janus found himself ambushed by a very flustered emo when he went into the kitchen the next morning, Virgil grabbing onto his arm and pulling him to the table.  He was practically glowing, grin unabashed and eyes shining.</p><p>“What else would you expect from my fine tutelage?”  Janus smirked, turning to the coffee maker.  “Good job, though.  I’m proud of you.”</p><p>For a moment, the only sound was the bubble of brewing coffee.  Virgil’s brow was furrowed, mouth working uselessly.</p><p>“Anyway,” Janus continued, deciding to have mercy on him.  “How do you know?  What’d he say?”</p><p>“Oh, um.”  Virgil floundered for a <em> very </em>different reason and muttered something, too quick to hear.</p><p>Janus blinked.  “What was that?”</p><p>Virgil burrowed deeper into his hoodie, averting his eyes.  “He… um.”  A small smile crossed his red face.  “He kissed my cheek.”</p><p>Janus gasped.  “Virgil, you floozy!  How scandalous!”</p><p>Virgil snorted a laugh, rolling his eyes.  “Yeah, yeah.”</p><p>“I’m quite serious,” Janus drawled, smiling, “everyone knows the cheek is the doorway to the bedroom.”</p><p>“Ugh, gross.”  Virgil gagged, pulling a face.  “You’re not allowed to say that stuff.”</p><p>“Why ever not, dear?”  Janus flashed a fanged grin, pushing a mug of coffee into Virgil’s hands.</p><p>“Because,” he emphasized, taking it, “no one wants to hear their da–”</p><p>He cut himself off.</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“Their dad’s husband,” Virgil said, quietly.  “That’s what I was going to say.”</p><p>Janus could feel something like agony settling in the lines of his face.  He turned away, shuttered his expression closed.  “Of course.”</p><p>“Right.”  Virgil swallowed hard, fingers tightening around his mug.  “Right.”</p><p>“Guess I better check on your dear father, then,” Janus said, voice clipped as he filled Patton’s favorite mug.  “If all I am is his husband.”</p><p>He slithered from the room without another glance at Virgil.</p><p>Virgil sat there, alone, sipping at a coffee made just the way he liked, trying not to know where the sickness in his stomach came from.</p><p> </p><p>Virgil stood before the yellow and blue door, wavering.</p><p>“You’re being dumb,” he muttered, raising a hand to knock, before promptly spinning on his heel and walking off.</p><p>“No, you <em> don’t </em> need that slimy snake,” he muttered, before turning around.</p><p>“Oh, but he kinda knows what he’s doing.”  Virgil worried at his bottom lip, before finally sighing, marching up to the door and knocking before he could talk himself out of it.</p><p>“Janus,” he said before the door could even fully open, “I get if you’re upset or whatever, but I really need to know what to do with Roman– and you’re not Janus.”</p><p>“Perils of sharing a room,” Patton said, flashing a wry smile, “I tend to <em> snake </em> into his conversations.  Everything alright, kiddo?”</p><p>“Fine,” Virgil said, shortly.  “Just looking for Janus.”</p><p>“If he’s sulking, he’ll be in the library.”  A flash of mischief shone in Patton’s eye.  “We’ve got a few fun memories <em> shelf-ed </em> there.”</p><p>“What do you–”  Virgil stopped, grimaced.  “Actually, I don’t think I want to know.  Thanks.”</p><p>He turned, but before he could stalk off, Patton spoke.</p><p>“He loves you, you know,” he said, gently.  “Just as much as I do.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Virgil said, and the words felt like sandpaper in his throat.  “I know.”</p><p> </p><p>Janus was, in fact, in the library, curled up with a book he seemed to be staring at more than actually reading.</p><p>“There’s this great new invention,” Virgil said.  “It’s called reading comprehension – all the rage these days.”</p><p>Janus startled, but his expression settled into coolness as soon as he spotted the other side.</p><p>“Virgil,” he said, mildly.  “I was <em> just </em>hoping for another insult.  Got to fulfill the daily quota, you know.”</p><p>Virgil winced.  “Look, I didn’t mean it like that.  And I get if you hate me for not being who you remember, but I’m different now.  I can’t be who I was to you anymore.”</p><p>But Janus just looked at him with a tired sort of fondness, mouth twisted up into a smile that was only a little sad.</p><p>“Virgil,” he said, softly.  “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Virgil startled.  “What?”</p><p>“I’m sorry.”  He swallowed, hard.  “I must’ve done <em> everything </em> wrong for you to <em> ever </em> think I could do anything but love you, whoever you turn out to be.”</p><p>Virgil blinked at him, swallowing down the lump rising in his throat.</p><p>“I think,” he said, voice thick, “I have a few apologies to make.”</p><p>“We both have a few apologies to make,” Janus corrected, gently, then laughed.  “I guess I need to learn my lesson as well.”</p><p> </p><p>They worked it out.</p><p> </p><p>Not perfectly, of course.  Emotionally repressed idiots they were, of <em> course </em> it wasn’t perfect.  A strange sort of tension still settled in their shoulders when someone brought up the past; certain tones still put them both on edge; snide references to a shared memory could produce bouts of laughter or tense, taunt silence in equal measure, but it was better.</p><p>Time wore away the brittle edges of their words, until, at last, their sharpness was almost gone.</p><p> </p><p>Not gone, however, were Virgil’s terrible flirting strategies.</p><p>“No,” Janus said, when he tried telling Roman he didn’t hate it when Roman sang.</p><p>“No,” Janus said, when Virgil tried ignoring Roman to ‘play it cool’.</p><p>“Maybe,” he said, when Virgil punched Roman’s shoulder and said ‘you fight good’.</p><p>“Okay,” Janus sighed, sitting on Virgil’s bed.  “I think we should probably just go for it.”</p><p>“What?!”  Virgil sat up, spine ramrod straight, eyes wide.  “No! It’s way too soon for that!”</p><p>“Oh, you’re right,” Janus drawled.  “Knowing someone thirty one years, flirting with them for five, and asking them out after they flirt back, accept your gifts with gusto, and kiss your cheek?  Too much.  Shame on me.”</p><p>“You’re the worst,” Virgil hissed, hands pressed to his face.</p><p>“I try,” Janus said, smugly.  “But hear me out here – you could always say something at mine and Patton’s next wedding.  You know how <em> emotional </em>those things tend to make him.”</p><p>“That’s…”  Virgil took a deep breath, fiddling with the ends of his hoodie strings.  “That’s a pretty good idea, actually.”</p><p>Janus stood up, slithering towards the door.  “In that case, I better ask Patton for another divorce.”</p><p>Virgil snorted, flopping back on his bed with a grin. “What’s your excuse this time?”</p><p>“I’m sure I can think of something.”  Janus flashed a fanged smile, edged with that tenderness reserved for his occasional husband.  “He has been bothering me lately.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”  Virgil rolled his eyes, smiling.  “Later, dad.”</p><p>Janus stood stock-still, dumbfounded.</p><p>After a moment, Virgil looked up and blinked at him, oblivious.  “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Janus said, and turned to hide his smile.  “Nothing at all.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Everyone say thank you @infawrit10 on tumblr for *cough cough* requesting this!</p><p>reblog <a href="https://impatentpending.tumblr.com/post/621408099136307200/you-test-my-nerves-it-makes-me-stronger">here</a>, if you are so inclined</p><p>thank you for reading, and roast me if you see a typo, COWARDS</p></blockquote></div></div>
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